Sometimes in life I find myself having emotional reactions that are hugely disproportionate to their triggers. This happened to me this morning, in fact. I’m in my second day of illustrious temporary employment at an office in downtown San Francisco. Today a lady from “corporate” came in and when I introduced myself as “Emily, the temp” she said, “Oh, I paid my dues as a temp too.” This got me all riled up inside.

We think that when you have a very strong emotional reaction to something, especially when it seems to come out of nowhere like mine today, you should examine the real cause of the reaction. This reaction is coming from someplace inside of you.

First, let me explain what I mean by irrational anger. This is anger that comes on suddenly and from no objectively offensive source. In my case, the woman’s comment was not malicious in any way, but it changed my mood instantly, like flipping a light switch. This indicates that something else was causing my reaction.

Steps for Examining Irrational Anger

1. Determine specifically what upset you about the situation. Was it a statement, the tone, the person involved, or the circumstances?

In my case today, it was the idea behind the statement.

2. Clarify exactly what bothered you. Pinpoint the trigger to your reaction. The trigger is the external force that drew the reaction out of you.

My trigger was the idea that by temping I’m aspiring to someday get hired to work in an office like the one I’m temping for.

3. Find the cause. The cause for your reaction is inside of you. Why did this specific trigger cause you so much distress?

This trigger caused me distress because while I’m sure I don’t ever want to work in an office like the one I’m assigned to, more importantly I’m insecure about my career path and what I’m going to do with my life. This was the real cause for my reaction.

Once you’ve found the root cause for your reaction you can begin to accept and work on that part of yourself.

Ways to Recognize Irrational Anger in Others

1. Overzealous arguing. We all know someone who loves to argue excessively, especially about their cause of choice, whether it’s politics, religion, or the New York Yankees. When someone is fanatically attached to something and takes every opportunity to get worked up into a frenzy over it, there is usually a deeper cause.

2. Taking exception unnecessarily: “How rude! Who does she think she is? How dare she?” Those kinds of statements are usually preceded by objectively inoffensive behavior. When someone has a disproportionate reaction, it’s probably irrational.

3. Hitting a nerve. We’ve all done it, made a remark to a friend and seen the look on their faces change instantly for the worse. We say we “hit a nerve” because it is usually an issue that is specific to the person. This is the most obvious way that irrational anger shows itself.

Handling Irrational Anger in Others

This can be tricky. Since the reaction is irrational to begin with, any intervention you attempt may be reacted to equally irrationally. The most important thing to remember is that even if you’re the trigger for a reaction, you aren’t the cause. Take note not to bring up that subject again, but don’t blame yourself for their reaction. If you’re close to the person you might consider gently asking what their reaction was really about. Maybe they know. If they don’t, you can try suggesting some steps like ours for figuring it out.

Want to Hear More?
We have a couple of articles relating to this on our site:

The Impermanence of Emotion 

Freedom from Fear 

and some exercises:

Reducing Suffering 

Overcoming Fear 

Lately I have been thinking about aliens. The internet is full of alien info. I would like to share with you today my three favorite alien theories.

1 - Humans are descended from aliens.

Check out this Wikipedia article about Thiaoouba and see what I mean. This guy claims to have been abducted by aliens and taken to their planet for 9 days. During this time the aliens told him all about the progression of life forms as they move towards rejoining the Creator, how Jesus was an alien, and about alien toilets. These aliens also stressed spirituality and environmental stewardship as our path to progress.

2 - The US government has conspired to keep aliens a secret.

I’m pretty much convinced after hanging out at the Disclosure Project too long. They say that for the past 50 years or so the government has been covering up evidence of UFOs and alien landings. Ex-military, CIA, and other government officials testify that they were instructed to keep their experiences with the aliens a secret. The Disclosure Project also claims that the government has studied the alien ships and has much greater technology that we can even imagine.

3 - The Great Filter

The Great Silence refers to the paradox that while we think there should be other life out there in the universe, we have yet (?) to encounter it. This problem brings us to the Great Filter:

No alien civilizations have substantially colonized our solar system or systems nearby. Thus among the billion trillion stars in our past universe, none has reached the level of technology and growth that we may soon reach. This one data point implies that a Great Filter stands between ordinary dead matter and advanced exploding lasting life. And the big question is: How far along this filter are we?

This quote comes from an essay by Robin Hanson who also writes for Overcoming Bias. The essay is long, but worth reading. It makes you wonder if we really could be unique in the universe, or maybe just the furthest along the path of space exploration.

So what does all this have to do with spirituality or personal growth? Well, the alien question is still unanswered. Whatever the answer turns out to be, it will have a huge impact on religion and the future of humanity. If that’s not good enough for you, look at it as a personal growth exercise. Learning and considering new possibilities is always good for you. It broadens your range of thought. If nothing else, this post will give you something to talk about to your conspiracy theorist uncle. Family bonding!

It is only the artificial ego that suffers. The man who has transcended his false ‘me’ no longer identifies with his suffering. - Wei Wu Wei

Change is a central feature of life. It can be exhilarating, frightening, exhausting, or relieving. It can spark sadness or happiness, resistance or grasping. -Gil Fronsdal

I just got back from my Grandpa’s 75th Birthday Party in Gloucester, MA. It was a great trip, but it was also rather exhausting. We discussed change, getting old, and death. The discussions were emotional and full of fear. After I got back I listened to my favorite ZenCast, episode 102 in which Gil talks about the importance of fully contemplating death. This, along with Steve Pavlina’s recent post on emotions prompted me to write about emotions and impermanence

Insight into change is central to dealing with our emotions. Becoming equanimous during change and emotional storms is one of the keys to growing spiritually and personally. This means we need to learn to observe our emotional responses, to step back from them, not to identify with them and become them. This is a means to freedom. The Buddha’s last words were: “All conditioned things are impermanent. Strive on with diligence.”

No emotion lasts forever. Usually our emotions arise from conditioned responses. Something happens and we have an emotional reaction to it. These are old thought patterns that we’ve learned throughout our life. Our ego wants to protect us from pain and bring us pleasure, it’s scared and grasping. Think of it like a loyal watch dog, he may often be misguided but he is only trying to protect his owner. Our ego has learned emotional responses designed originally to protect us from pain and bring us pleasure. These emotional responses are just extra strong thought patterns, that are deeply ingrained and seem to arise automatically and involuntarily. Steve Pavlina’s excellent post uses the metaphor of video game avatars for our ego.

We can learn to view these emotions from a different perspective. Not as though we are the emotions and they are us (from the ego view) but from a more detached state. When we learn this we learn to reduce suffering and pain. Suffering arises when we cling to these emotions, as though we are the emotions, when we are deeply identified with them as inherent parts of our selves and personalities. We can reduce suffering, even in a world of change and impermanence. We can learn to let go, not to cling and find sublime happiness in our world. We can do this by seeing the impermanent nature of what we cling to and by observing what we are grasping onto and clinging to. As Steve puts it;

Although your emotions arise within your consciousness, they are not your consciousness, and you are free to stop, breathe, and rise above them. This will not eliminate the emotions — they’ll still be present — but you’ll begin to see them from a third-person perspective instead of identifying with them

When you experience this perspective shift, you’ll begin to notice a change. Learning to depend not on the ego, and instead on the higher self brings wonderful states of peace and joy. This isn’t some easy accomplishment because the ego, that watch dog, holds fiercely to old beliefs, patterns and habits.

Steve gives this metaphor for the experience:

Imagine playing a scary computer game or watching a scary movie. In the moment you may be feeling tense, anxious, or nervous. But behind that is a more subtle sensation you might call fun, enjoyment, or pleasure. You’re enjoying the larger experience of the game or movie, but this enjoyment is on a different level than your low-level experience of the current on-screen situation. Similarly, when you feel sad, angry, or frustrated, you may stop and notice a different sensation behind that emotion. To observe this sensation, you must step outside of the temporary storm and simply witness it for a while. I tend to think of this sensation as joy, but you may label it something else entirely. It is a pleasurable and expansive yet soothing sensation. Some people might call it ecstasy, God consciousness, or a feeling of oneness. Again, I hesitate to call it an emotion, since it isn’t felt on that level. It’s more like a state of consciousness.

Acceptance not denial or aversion

It’s important not to resist emotions or pretend they’re not there. The key is to completely accept them and be present for them. It doesn’t work to take the emotional reactions head on and try to control them, battle them or even become attached to them. As the Borg say, “Resistance is futile.” Emotions are natural and not something to be despised or resisted. They also aren’t an inherent part of any person, so we don’t have to personally identify with them. When we become too deeply associated with our egos, we can easily feel overwhelmed by our emotional reactions. We might be so overwhelmed that we block the message we need. It is key to remember that ego is not identity. Think of every emotional reaction as a guide. A way for our mind to show us where our clinging, old thought patterns, and inner turmoil lies. Emotional reactions are signals for us to stop and reflect on ourselves, to learn and grow. Steve puts it this way:

When I notice myself feeling the urge to ingest an excessive amount of sugar, caffeine, or idle entertainment, I can trace it to an emotional storm that I’m having difficulty dealing with. That’s when I have to remind myself to step back, observe the storm, and receive its message. I often resist the message out of fear for what it might require of me, but when I do eventually hear it, it’s invariably more gentle and forgiving than I imagined. I’m usually left with a feeling of gratitude.

Progress
The key to spiritual and personal growth is our ability to keep looking within and to keep growing. Life is full of changes and impermanence. Clinging to old habits, past hurts and repetitive emotional reactions stifles our growth, even though it may seem safer for our terrified ego. When we have emotional reactions, it’s important not to get stuck in the middle of it, but observe our reactions, ask ourselves the tough questions about what we are feeling and why, to be present with the emotion and not to deny it or cover it up.

See the full article on the Impermanence of Emotions at our companion website.

Yesterday’s post was prompted by something I read at a blog I had just discovered, Overcoming Bias. I read more and more of the blog and really gravitated towards the posts by Eliezer Yudkowsky, who wrote the post I referenced yesterday. So I started reading his stuff and learned all about the Singularity and found my way to a bunch of really interesting sites. It’s funny how one little discovery like that can send you all over cyberspace.

So now I am going to share with you what I’ve learned:

Eventually we will develop Artificial Intelligence or AI that is smarter than us. If an AI is smart enough to build another AI that is even smarter, it will be like an intelligence explosion going on and on with each generation of AI creating smarter and smarter AI’s. This intelligence explosion and the AI’s that would cause it are referred to as the Singularity. If these AI’s become hostile or even indifferent to human life, we will be in serious trouble.

Why will we be in trouble?

Think about the way we treat animals. We treat them like machinary to do work for us, we eat them, we use them as entertainment, etc. The primary reason this happens is that we are so much smarter than animals that we consider them a lower form of life. What would prevent super-intelligent AI’s from treating us similarly?

People who are into Singularity, like my new crush Eliezer Yudkowsky, think that it’s possible to create the first AI with a basic morality framework that would prevent it from harming us. He explains it much better than I would be able to in this video (also embedded below). Essentially, if you go along with this theory of the Singularity, this could be the greatest issue to face mankind. The AI’s would be smart enough to solve any problem we came across, provided we survived their existence.

This is pretty much the extent of my grasp on Singularity. I think it’s completely fascinating. In my diggings on the internet, I found out that there will be a Singularity Summit here in San Francisco in just a couple weeks! I hope to go and tell you all about it.

I found a fantastic post at Overcoming Bias. Essentially the author says that we like being ignorant sometimes. We like keeping certain things mysterious, so we perpetuate their mystery.

With all our talk about mistrusting the senses and other dimensions, you might think we at Considering The Universe are exactly the kinds of people described in the Overcoming Bias post. I don’t think so.

There are mysteries in the universe. Where did we come from? Where are we going? The questions can go on and on. Even as science seems to solve one mystery, another pops up. We are always looking for answers and we think you should too. We think there are forces in the universe that are still undiscovered, but if we write them off to God or some other mysterious answer, we remain ignorant.

But ignorance exists in the map, not in the territory. If I am ignorant about a phenomenon, that is a fact about my own state of mind, not a fact about the phenomenon itself. A phenomenon can seem mysterious to some particular person. There are no phenomena which are mysterious of themselves. To worship a phenomenon because it seems so wonderfully mysterious, is to worship your own ignorance. - Overcoming Bias

This is why we encourage you to investigate everything yourself whenever possible. Science is not always right, it takes wrong turns and has to correct itself all the time. There are some forces that science hardly studies, especially paranormal fields that are difficult to quantify. Investigate them yourself. Laura and I are working on our telepathic abilities. Try learning to see auras. Or just start by stopping the hiccups with your mind.

Decide for yourself what is nonsense and what isn’t. Stretch your mind and it’s possibilities. By dogmatically rejecting either science or what still lays beyond it, we are limiting our universe and ourselves. By finding your own answers, you defeat ignorance and embrace knowingness. Explore!

Lately, I’ve noticed a lot of people telling me that I can’t do things. It usually goes like this:

“I’m thinking about moving to Mexico and blogging from a beach hut.”

“You can’t do that!”

“Why not?”

I’m amazed at the volume of reasons people can think of for why I can’t do something. Normally quiet people are suddenly spouting off an entire doomsday prophesy of how I can’t do this or that. What is going on here?

All of us have been in these situations. You can’t ask her out, she’s too good for you. You can’t become an artist, you won’t make any money. You can’t move to Moscow, you don’t speak Russian. If you listen carefully you’ll see that what people are really saying is “I would be afraid to do that and you should be too.”

People are so used to being ruled by fear, that they can’t understand when someone isn’t. They want to feel like their safe choices are ok, so they try to make you feel fear like they do. They will always try to talk you into a safe path similar to theirs. “You can’t move to Moscow, you don’t speak Russian,” really means I don’t think I could ever learn Russian and the idea of wandering around a city, not knowing the language terrifies me. Don’t let another person’s fear become your own!

Not sure about my theory? Do a comparison. We all have a friend who isn’t afraid of anything. A friend who follows their dreams no matter where it may take them. Tell your idea to that friend and see how their reaction compares to everyone else’s. A fearless person would say, “Great idea! Go for it!” In fact, this fearless friend would probably have a lot of very useful advice. Isn’t this the kind of person you would like to surround yourself with?

When you’re feeling nervous about a new idea or new direction in your life, the last thing you should do is adopt other people’s fears as your own. For more on fear, see our article Freedom from Fear and the companion exercise Overcoming Fear.

I’ve just finished rereading Colin Wilson’s The Mind Parasites. It’s a great book that makes you think about human potential and the frontiers of the mind. I intend to read much more of Wilson’s work, especially after finding this interview. Here is the most interesting excerpt:

…We have inside us what I call the robot — a sort of robot valet or servant who does things for you. So you learn something like talking French or driving a car or skiing or whatever, painfully and consciously, step by step. Then the robot takes it over and does it far more quickly and efficiently that you could do it consciously. … Now, the robot does all these valuable things like talking French and so on for us. The trouble is he also does the things we do not want him to do. We listen to a piece of music; it moves us deeply the first time. We read a poem, we go for a country walk, whatever, and it moves us. But the second or third time you do it, the robot is listening to the music or reading the poetry or doing the country walk for you. I said I’ve even caught him making love to my wife. And this is our real problem — that the robot keeps taking us over and doing the things that we would rather do. … Do you remember that Sartre said that during the war, when he was in the French Resistance and he was likely to be arrested and shot at any moment, he never felt so free. And obviously you would in these circumstances — you keep your energy so high because of your sense of crisis, that you would feel far more free. Now this is clearly the secret of freedom — keeping your energy so high that the robot is a bit like the thermostat on the wall which turns on quite automatically when your energies drop below a certain point, and then suddenly, without even noticing it, you’re living mechanically, robotically, instead of with the real you. The interesting thing is that it’s only a matter of one degree. Therefore, if it’s just one degree to turn on to the robot, it’s only one degree of effort to turn the robot off.

I think we can all relate to his idea of the robot, just going through the motions of doing something. The question is how can we escape that monotony? We all know thrill seekers whose solution to life sounds a lot like Sartre’s time in war. Must we all become adrenaline junkies to experience transcendent happiness?

Honestly, I don’t know. This seems to be a central problem for many people, especially young people. Should we learn to find happiness in life’s monotony or do we rebel against it? Maybe mindfulness is the key to turning off the robot. Maybe we should constantly seek new experiences to keep the robot on its toes. Maybe there is a time for each.

In the past week Laura and I have watched both Kundun (about the Chinese invasion of Tibet and the Dalai Lama) and Gandhi. We enjoyed both films, but they brought up some interesting questions for me.

Gandhi’s practice of non-violence to drive out the British was inspiring, but I couldn’t help but wonder if it would work in a situation like Tibet’s. The primary reasons Gandhi’s tactics worked were that the British had no stomach for large scale massacres and they governed based on the rule of law. In Mao’s China at the time of the Tibetan invasion, neither of these factors were true. The Chinese people were in no position to protest the treatment of their neighbors in Tibet and totalitarian rule allowed no channel for addressing injustices. It seems likely that had the Tibetans employed tactics like Gandhi and his followers, Mao’s army would have been obliged to kill them one by one. Still, it seems that the Tibetans would have fared no better if they had engaged the Chinese in large scale battle. They would have probably been slaughtered.

I found two good articles on this subject. The first article is from the Central Tibetan Administration which seems to be the Tibetan government headed by the Dalai Lama. It compares the Tibet’s struggle with Palestine’s and contrasts the tactics used by each nation. The second article comes from a Tibetan in exile. It challenges that Gandhi was completely devoted to non-violence in every situation and points out that the Dalai Lama owes his life to the Tibetans that fought the Chinese as he escaped to India in 1959. Clearly, adherence to non-violence is not as simple as one might think.

After my short investigation, it seems that a non-violence is still the best approach. There is a danger of bloodshed in battle just as there was when Gandhi challenged the British. Had the Tibetans fought against China and lost they might have lost their country and culture forever. By taking a less violent approach they may have bought themselves time until China is ready to accept reason as the British finally did. At least Tibet has the international community on its side, something Palestine would benefit from immensely.

Gandhi said, “An eye for an eye would make the whole world go blind.” One need only look to the Israeli/Palestinian conflict to see the truth in his words. Tibet may not be free, but neither are they mired in a horrific cycle of violence that destabilizes an entire region.

My problem with non-violence comes in issues of self-defense or defense of loved ones, but from that argument isn’t defense of my home and country self-defense? It seems to be a slippery slope to “defensive” wars abroad like the one in Iraq that was argued to be in preventative self-defense, whatever that might mean. I am very interested in other viewpoints on this topic and would love to hear from our readers. These are very complex issues that I don’t have figured out yet. If anyone has any ideas of their own or can point me toward some good books or articles I would be very appreciative.

The New York Times had a recent science article on reality and the “falsity” of our senses. In this case, they used magic as the arena for the exploration of consciousness. The Times comments:

A recurring theme in experimental psychology is the narrowness of perception: how very little of the sensory clamor makes its way into awareness…In a sense our reality is virtual

I think it’s interesting to take this and compare it with one of our reader’s recent comments:

“Nothing is more fascinating than to watch science blurring its edges into spirit. There are no easier words for the transition zone that “quantum” and no easier words for God than virtual. To indicate that reality doesn’t begin and end at the material level.” (quotes from here)
Spiritual teachers feel that their role is to point people away from depending on the 5 senses, which are confined to space-time. The real point is to see that our senses aren’t that trustworthy.

The NYT’s thesis is that our senses aren’t trustworthy. We’ve just posted about Dark Matter, a possible major force in the universe that we’ve barely studied because we can’t really detect or sense it. Everyday there are articles in popular media about the nature of reality, the unreliability of our senses, and the misnomers created by science. Working on ways to punch through the veil of our senses is one of the most intriguing quests I can think of. How else do breakthroughs in our comprehension of the world happen? Ask yourself what you’re doing to cultivate a broader perception of reality.

Try reading Flatland. Could there be other dimensions to our universe that we have no way of perceiving? What might it be like to live in another dimension? Flatland is a lot of fun and can exercise your imagination.

Steve Pavlina has an interesting article today about how intention works in the present moment. I haven’t done a lot of research on intentions, desires and manifesting riches. But I have given a lot of thought to living in the present. I think Steve’s point here is something like a western pop culture version of mindfulness practice. I’m all for it. Here’s a brief summary of Steve’s main points:

Suppose you like the idea of tithing 10% of your income to worthy causes. But your finances are too tight for you to feel comfortable tithing right now. However, you tell yourself that you intend to start tithing once you experience a greater state of abundance. So you’re acknowledging the reality of your present situation while holding a positive intention for the future. This seems reasonable, doesn’t it?

In actuality, however, this type of thinking is self-defeating.

Consider the thoughts/intentions that are being put forth:

1. The intention to tithe (future).
2. The intention to experience limited finances (present).
3. The intention not to tithe (present).
4. The intention to experience abundance (future).

Now collapse all of these intentions to the present, since other times are merely illusion. This yields the following:

1. The intention to tithe (present).
2. The intention to experience limited finances (present).
3. The intention not to tithe (present).
4. The intention to experience abundance (present).

Is this a congruent set of intentions? Obviously it’s in conflict because 1 cancels 3, and 2 cancels 4.

Unfortunately, this is how most people go about forming and holding intentions. No wonder their intentions fail to manifest. If you hold intentions like the ones above, you can invest tons of energy and have very little to show for it.

So what’s the solution? The solution requires that if you want to hold an intention for your future, you must in fact hold that intention for your present. The focal point of your positive expectations must be now – not later… or tomorrow… or someday.

Forget about past and future, and focus entirely on the present. But give your present a velocity instead of seeing it as a fixed point. Your present is not a single frame snapshot – it’s an animation. Whenever you hold an intention, you’re aiming to alter that animation.

Let’s return to the tithing example. If you recognize the present as the only reality, then your new intentions will look something like this:

1. The intention that your tithes are continually increasing (present).
2. The intention that your experience of abundance is continually increasing (present).

Whenever you observe reality, observe it changing in the direction of your desires. See your present reality as a canvas that paints an ever more beautiful picture.