I went to the doctor’s for a routine procedure the other day and was treated to a vasovagal reaction, which is a fancy way of saying my blood pressure dropped significantly and I was in danger of fainting.

This is interesting because it was achieved through physical stimulation of my vagus nerve, rather than whatever people usually faint from (blood? mice?). I’ve never fainted in my life so this was very trippy for me. I could not feel my arms or legs. I felt like I was dying. I felt like I wanted to die. I couldn’t talk. I was barely conscious of what was going on around me. My mind was cloudy and dreamy, but in a bad way. I was in a very negative space with no grounding.

This lasted about ten minutes during which the nurse came to watch over me. They said it was not uncommon, but they were definitely concerned. I tried to observe the experience from a detached, meditative space. This was partially successful in that I was able separate myself from the feeling, but I was still very attached to having it stop.

When I started coming back to normal, I felt incredibly happy and grateful to the Universe. I was very aware of my body and environment. It all seemed so wonderful and full of energy. It was a very strange feeling. I also had a very clear realization that I need to pursue a yogic spiritual practice rather than trying to force a Taoist practice. I have been very attached to finding a Taoist practice because I have gravitated towards Taoist philosophy since I was young. I haven’t been happy with the Taoist resources I’ve found (Tai Chi, Qi Gong) and I’ve been feeling stymied as a result. This vasovagal business seemed to clear a channel for me to release the Taoist attachment and really hear the message the Universe had for me. It was strange.

When I returned home from the doctor’s office, I Googled “vagus nerve”. I found that vagus nerve stimulation is used in experimental treatments for depression. This is interesting because in the wake of my episode I felt completely blissful and at peace with the Universe. My experience is a very good example of how our bodies and minds are intertwined in ways we are just beginning to understand.

It also helped convince me a need to really start meditating. I think I would have gotten much more out of the experience if I had been able to go into a true mindfulness meditation and observe my reaction.

How long has it been since we’ve had a real futurist post? Too long!

Wired has a great big article on Ray Kurzweil and the Singularity today from which I learned that our buddy Ray is a little crazy:

Kurzweil does not believe in half measures. He takes 180 to 210 vitamin and mineral supplements a day, so many that he doesn’t have time to organize them all himself. So he’s hired a pill wrangler, who takes them out of their bottles and sorts them into daily doses, which he carries everywhere in plastic bags. Kurzweil also spends one day a week at a medical clinic, receiving intravenous longevity treatments.

Kurzweil is going to all this trouble in order to live until the Singularity occurs and the human life span is extended substantially if not indefinitely. Immortality is nigh! Here’s how:

According to Grossman and other singularitarians, immortality will arrive in stages. First, lifestyle and aggressive antiaging therapies will allow more people to approach the 125-year limit of the natural human lifespan. This is bridge one. Meanwhile, advanced medical technology will begin to fix some of the underlying biological causes of aging, allowing this natural limit to be surpassed. This is bridge two. Finally, computers become so powerful that they can model human consciousness. This will permit us to download our personalities into nonbiological substrates. When we cross this third bridge, we become information. And then, as long as we maintain multiple copies of ourselves to protect against a system crash, we won’t die.

Nice. Downloading yourself has its perils though. You know how you can accidentally replace all your music with your friend’s if you plug in your iPod haphazardly? That would be very bad news in this scenario.

Kurzweil is weird in a good way though. His theories require a certain open-mindedness that is apparently not limited strictly to technical matters:

To press his case, Kurzweil is writing and producing an autobiographical movie… Kurzweil appears in two guises, as himself and as an intelligent computer named Ramona, played by an actress. Ramona has long been the inventor’s virtual alter ego and the expression of his most personal goals. “Women are more interesting than men,” he says, “and if it’s more interesting to be with a woman, it is probably more interesting to be a woman.” He hopes one day to bring Ramona to life, and to have genuine human experiences, both with her and as her… “I don’t necessarily only want to be Ramona,” he says. “It’s not necessarily about gender confusion, it’s just about freedom to express yourself.”

Hot! Experiences with her and as her? Not only is he going to become a transgendered robot, he is going to have sex with his feminine alter ego! The future is going to be awesome, man.

As bizarre as the pursuit of life-extension technology can be, I really liked this quote from Kurzweil’s doctor:

“Life is not a randomized, double-blind, placebo-controlled study,” Grossman explains. “We don’t have that luxury. We are operating with incomplete information. The best we can do is experiment with ourselves.”

Experiment away, Ray. See you in the future.

Well, I’ve put my money where my mouth is. After many posts advising you (our readers) to expand your comforts zones, I’ve broken through a huge barrier in mine: I cut my hair.

Each of us must determine our own path. While a haircut might seem pretty mundane, it was a hurdle I never thought I’d clear in killing my ego. My childhood awkward phase was aggravated by an unfortunate bowl cut after which my mother resorted to getting my ears pierced to tip off the grocery clerk that I was not her son. The kids at school called me Edward because I looked like a boy. It was terrible. Once my hair finally grew out, I clung to it for dear life. My femininity and beauty were all wrapped up in having long hair. My appearance was the sum of my parts, my hair being one of the greatest contributors to that total. In my case, insecurity bred vanity; I never thought I’d cut my hair.

In the last few weeks, I realized how attached I’ve been to my hair. So attached that the mere thought of getting my hair cut short brought on the rumblings of an anxiety attack. I could hardly entertain the thought of a haircut, let alone actually go through with it. I decided enough was enough. I was being held hostage by my hair. Time for a haircut.

Laura accompanied me to the salon yesterday. She was very helpful in keeping my calm and not letting me get wrapped up in imagining how ugly and horrible I would look. Once the stylist chopped off the long part (twelve inches!) I started to relax. The ball was rolling and it was too late to stop it.

I’m so happy I cut my hair. I feel lighter in more ways that one. My hair is gone and I didn’t transform into a boy or an asexual child! I can be pretty, not just have pretty hair. This may seem frivolous, but sometimes we cling to the little things because they’re easier to dismiss. When I told people I was getting my haircut as part of my personal growth, many of them thought it was strange. They said, “It doesn’t matter if your hair is long or short, so why cut it?” I cut it because it mattered tremendously to me. My long hair was like a security blanket. It was like a badge of feminine honor (my hair is longer than your hair, I win). It had to go. If only all ego slaying was as simple as a haircut.

I challenge you to take a look at the little attachments you have and break them (I’d never wear…… I always buy……. My hair will always be……). Those small external attachments can be difficult to break because they directly affect how we are perceived by others. Passersby will probably not notice your latest meditation breakthrough, but dye your hair green and they’ll stare. It’s easy to say that appearances are impermanent when someone else’s appearance is in question.

How could I expect to reach spiritual maturity if I couldn’t even stomach a haircut? What attachments are holding you back?

This past weekend I was happily able to attend a two day retreat given by Jigme Tromge Rinpoche. The retreat contained a series of meditations and contemplations based on an 18th century Tibetan text by Drimed Khakyod.  As the flyer advertising the retreat explains:

Broadly described as instruction on shamatha (‘calm abiding’ meditation), these practices have considerable range and profundity. Each technique, clearly and succinctly explained, focuses on a different aspect of practice – for example, one-pointed concentration, compassion, understanding of relative and absolute reality and so forth – and as we progress through the teachings, our foundation is strengthened and we learn which tools to apply to counteract specific pitfalls.

This was my first experience with this particular form of meditation. I found it profound and ritualized. The teachings were specific and detailed. I was surprised how different the methods involved in this retreat were from methods I’ve experienced before; there were many visualizations and exact techniques. However, I left the retreat feeling as if this was essentially touching on the same truths that other methods touch on. The forms may be different, but inherent reality isn’t.

I shall leave you with the Red Tara Dedication Prayer

Dedication

Throughout my many lives and until this moment, whatever virtue I have accomplished including the merit generated by this practice, and all that I will ever obtain, this I offer for the welfare of all sentient beings. May sickness, war, famine and suffereing be decreased, for every being while their wisdom and compassion increase in this and every future life. May I cleraly perceive all experiences to be as insubstantial as the dream fabric of the night and instantly awaken to perceive the pure wisdom display in the arising of every phenomenon. May I quickly attain enlightenment in order to work ceaselessly for the liberation of all sentient beings.

Prayer of Aspiration

Buddhas and bodhisattvas altogether:
whatever kind of motivation you have,
whatever kind of beneficial action,
whatever kind of wishing prayers,
whatever kind of omniscience,
whatever kind of life accomplishment,
whatever kind of benevolent power and
whatever kind of immense wisdom you have,
then similarly I, who have come in the same way to benefit beings,
pray to attain these qualities

The Auspicious Wish

At this very moment, for the peoples and the nations of the earth, may not even the names disease, famine, war and suffering be heard. Rather may their moral conduct, merit, wealth and proseperity increase, and may supreme good fortune and well-being always arise for them.

Our little CtU family has had some shake-ups recently. Both Laura and I will be heading off to graduate school in a few months, leaving our beloved apartment and San Francisco behind us. It’s been a tumultuous year, but we’ve been together through everything. It’s kind of scary for us to think about going our separate ways. We’re getting used to the idea slowly and with the advent of spring, it seems there’s no better time for rebirth and renewal. Maybe that’s why I was so struck by today’s reading in 365 Tao by Deng Ming-Dao:

A solitary crane
In winter snow
Needs no jewels.

A single crane standing unconcerned in the falling snow is the very image of independence. It nees no one, it is secure in its environment, and it is capable of going through life alone. Its independence stems from self-sufficiency.

It needs no clothing, no building, no wealth, no status. It is content, even glorious in its naked identity. So too with ourselves: There is no need for dazzling clothes, an impressive career, an awesome temple, nor a bejeweled master. What we want is something far beyond such externals.

What facets of your personality are encumbrances? What personal aspects prevent you from being independent? These are the areas that will define your self-cultivation, for you must strive to stand alone. This doesn’t mean that you won’t ever join with others, but you will do so as an individual who will cooperate just as much as is necessary. In this way you will never be lost in a group, and you will never fear being alone.

If we live like the crane, our true essence will arise in us from the Source. By understanding and observing the encumbrances in our personalities, they lose their power. The Tao, the Universe, runs through each of us and guides our lives. By standing still, unafraid, embracing our true identities, the light of the Universe will shine forth. There is nothing to fear, I am everything and everything is me: all one.

We often talk about meditation here at Considering the Universe, but what about other methods that connect us with our inner selves? My dad just sent me this documentary about using arousal or spontaneous movement as another means for spiritual transformation.

The complement to relaxation is arousal, or the arousal response. And heightened arousal – whether through wild movement, spontaneous jumping, or body shaking – is a valuable, healing and transformative practice

I encourage you to check out the 10 minute documentary here about using arousal and ancient shamanic techniques to transform your self.

If you haven’t heard, Oprah is doing an online series with Eckhart Tolle. She chose Tolle’s A New Earth for her bookclub this month. This is a pretty big deal. When Oprah gets behind a book, it sells millions of copies. The first installment of the online series had over 700,000 visitors (Oprah’s figure). The people that watch Oprah are not people who you would expect to be getting excited about consciousness evolution.

Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now was published in 1997. My mom gave it to me in college during my existential crisis phase. I remember thinking it was interesting and useful, but it didn’t cause a real shift. I haven’t read A New Earth, but the first installment of Oprah’s series is very interesting.

For those of you who are at all familiar with any variety of consciousness work, there won’t be anything new, however, it seems like an ideal introduction to mindfulness for traditonally religious people. I love Oprah and I know that many people trust her completely. Oprah takes callers’ questions about reconciling their religious beliefs with this scary New Age spirituality and she puts them totally at ease. The Universe couldn’t ask for a better spokesperson.

The whole endeavor could be seen as a watered-down version of any of the great esoteric traditions, still I think it’s fantastic. It’s so important that these ideas get into people’s daily lives. Just the fact that Oprah is able to do this at all shows that significant numbers of regular people are at least intrigued with the idea of spiritual growth, if not actually awakening to some degree. I am very excited about having lots of new people to consider the Universe with. I feel like I’m just beginning on my path and it’s nice to know there’s many other people in the same boat. Hopefully this will translate into more traffic for our blog. Ha!

I just finished Book One of A. H. Almaas’ Diamond Heart series. Doesn’t he look nice?

Almaas’ Diamond Approach is a method of self-realization that we briefly introduced on CtU back in January. It draws on Sufism and Gurdjieff’s Fourth Way, although the Diamond Approach is not aligned with a particular tradition.

Central to the Diamond Approach is the theory of holes. Each of us has certain holes inside of us that we are constantly trying to fill. Maybe we feel unlovable or lonely and fill that hole with extravagant possessions or a steady stream of romantic intrigue. No matter what we try to put into the hole, it never feels full. The Diamond Approach aims to clear out all the junk we put into the hole so that our true essence can come through and fill it.

Essence is the personal manifestation of the Universal, the Tao. It is the expression of the One in the Many, in each individual. This is basically the idea of letting the Tao flow through you so all of your actions arise effortlessly and correctly. It is beyond knowing how to act according to the Tao, or feeling you are in accordance with the Tao, it is literally being the Tao, realizing you are the Tao, allowing yourself to be the Tao. Very cool stuff. Check out the Wikipedia article.

The Diamond Approach has been recommended by two of our favorites, Ken Wilber and Jack Kornfield. Here’s what they said:

“I myself can recommend the Diamond Approach as probably the most balanced of the widely available spiritual psychologies/therapies.”—Ken Wilber

“The work of A. H. Almaas places him among the greatest psychologists alive today. His brilliant vision of the human psyche embraces our Being from early development to the highest realms of spirit. From this he then offers a new language and direct approach for awakening to this manifold nature.”—Jack Kornfield

As I was reading Book One, I got such a positive feeling about it, like it is a path a need to pursue. One thing that’s great about San Francisco is that no matter how far-out a method is, you can find it nearby. The Ridhwan School promotes Almaas’ teachings worldwide and we happen to have a branch here in Berkeley. I will be attending their introductory series beginning in May. (If you are interested in the program, email me and I’ll get you more information.)

I’ve decided commit to the series although it totally conflicts with my job and will require a major rearrangement of my schedule. So why am I doing it? I realized that if I didn’t, I would be forever kicking myself and wondering what it would have been like. I watched Riding Giants last night and it inspired me to live life to the fullest and follow my path. I feel fantastic since making the decision, a good indication it’s right.

I’m starting Book Two today and will be sure to keep you updated on the Diamond Approach as I learn more.