In early December I went on a five day mindfulness- meditation retreat. It was a silent retreat at an idyllic retreat center. Because I was far way from from the noise and bustle of everyday life, I was able to relax deeply, confront anxiety and fear and reach some profound levels of awareness, bliss and peace. While I still plan to blog about this retreat, I don’t think it’s an experience that many people can relate to. “It’s great you got to sit on a cushion for 14 hours a day, I won’t be doing that any time soon,” is a common reaction. However, my recent trip from New Hampshire back home to San Francisco is just the kind of hassle-y nightmarish day we’ve all had and a perfect example of how to use mindfulness in your everyday life.

The day started off badly, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Then I had complications getting to the airport (that New Hampshire primary traffic really caused a back-up) and car sickness from all the windy roads and stop-and-go movement. Reeeealy late, I ran into the airport, filled with anxiety. Well my flight was three hours delayed (when are flights to O’Hare not delayed?) and I certainly would miss my connection. Luckily I got booked through Dulles and on to SF. I was scheduled to get back home at midnight (only an hour and half later than expected). Not surprisingly the six hour Dulles to SF flight was also delayed (they didn’t seem to have a reason). We finally boarded, but all was not well. Little “Caroline” sitting next to me was not amused with the delays. She started screeching, not in that baby-ish scared/sad way, but in the “I’m hella pissed and am going to shriek until my vocal cords are destroyed” way. It was loud. She has a promising career in the extreme metal scene. She also has stamina. I had several options at this point:

1. Try to ignore it and focus intensely on something else (which includes ignoring the frustration that accompanies the sound)
2. Feel frustrated, annoyed and angry. Feel (with the surging emotions, coursing through the body) why this has not been a good day and how airplanes are horrible.
3. Focus on thinking, try to forget about the negative feelings that accompany the sound. Remember why babies are horrible. Wonder why people have them. Go on a thought-tirade
4. Pay attention to the noise.

Option four is what I eventually chose and is simply another way of saying “practice mindfulness of sound.” The way this works is:

1. Stop what you are doing
2. Notice the sound.
3. Be interested in the sound
4. Listen fully to the sound.
5. Notice all the intricacies of the sound

After you have spent some time with the sound, then move on to noticing what reactions the sound is creating in you. Do you feel annoyed? Angry? Upset? Are you creating stories around the sound? Have your thoughts spun in a million directions? Perhaps you’ve decided that Caroline has a bad mother. The mother doesn’t know what she is doing. Maybe you have condemned her for bringing a child on board at all. (She should have known better!). Maybe you’re now thinking about your own parents and their foibles. Try to locate a spot or spots in your body where you feel the reaction to the sound. Are you clenching your jaw? Do you feel an overall tightness? Keep returning to the sound itself when you feel yourself distracted or overwhelmed. Caroline’s screeching is your home base (like the breath in meditation). Keep returning to that sound and noticing your reactions.

This worked quite well for me and the flight itself turned out to be fine. I was amazed at how much my annoyance at Caroline diminished when I practiced mindfulness of sound. However, you might not have that experience when practicing mindfulness of sound. It could happen where you actually feel more or worse when you pay attention– but this is part of the practice. What ever you pay attention to could feel stronger, weaker or stay the same. Try not to be attached to the outcome, but merely interested in what’s happening.

Just as a note, I didn’t merely get to go home after this… When I tried to get a shuttle home, a guy decided he didn’t like how the driver was handling his luggage and called the cops. Dealing with three cop cars and a lot of yelling took a while. Then I got stuck on a different shuttle and the folks didn’t know which hotel they were going to. So we drove all the way to San Francisco and then had to drive all the way back to the airport until we finally found their hotel. It was late, could even be called morning, when I crawled into bed. So, apologies if this post is a bit rambly.