One thing I have a lot of trouble accepting about myself and the world around me is the lack of revolutionary change. Sometimes I feel like there is so much wrong with the world that I should become a vegan nomad dressed in rags liberating farm animals and laying down in front of tanks in various locales. But I don’t. Instead, I recycle and turn off the water while I brush my teeth.

My tax dollars helped kill over 1700 Iraqis last month and over 4000 Americans since the start of the war. That is unacceptable to me, but when I start thinking about it, the tragedies begin to build up into such a cacophony that I have to shut it out entirely just to function. So that’s what we do. We shut it off so we can continue to function.

There was an interesting article about this very topic in my step-mom’s Oprah Magazine this month (I can’t find a link to the article). It was about psychological numbing and the Darfur genocide. It said that in the face of great tragedy we block out the problem so that we can continue to function normally.

It seems to me that this is a good survival mechanism, preventing the tribe from having a collective existential crisis during which they might mope around instead of forage; however, I’m not sure that psychological numbing is still serving humans well. We’re told to “Stop Global Warming” “Stop the War in Iraq” “Stop the Darfur Genocide”, so we buy organic lettuce and hope for the best.

Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” I know some of the changes I’d like to see around me, but I’m not sure how to “be” that change. There must be a middle ground between guerrilla revolution and a Tibetan monastery, I’m just not sure what it is. I don’t want to be psychologically numb. I don’t want to sit by and watch history unfold in ways I find deplorable. I don’t think I’m the only one who feels this way.

I know the suffering of the world is not my fault, so why do I feel like it’s my responsibility to alleviate it? Maybe I’m hoping that by saving the world, I will feel better about myself, when actually feeling better about myself might save the world.

Read: The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas

I know I need to walk away, but where to go?