Race Relations: The Sound of Silence
Yikes. I felt a little nauseous just writing the title of this post, but since this issue has been coming up for me lately, it seems like I should write about it. To preface: I’m white.
For the first time in my life, I am having extensive contact with black people on a consistent basis in my work (I’m a counselor at a group home for foster youth). It has raised a lot of interesting issues for me:
- I have an aversion to noticing that we are of different races. My brain seems to try to block it out.
- I watch what I say and dread any race related conversation.
- I feel the tension in rooms when white people don’t speak openly even about issues that are unrelated to race because they are afraid they could be turned into racial issues.
- There are certain issues I don’t want to bring up because I don’t feel like it is my place to comment. For example, I don’t know how to raise my concerns about the kids calling each other “nigga”.
- I get extremely annoyed listening to recurring diatribes about white privilege and patriarchy.
These are just a few issues that have been coming up in the last couple of weeks. What I think is most interesting is that I don’t say anything about my concerns for fear of offending one of my black coworkers. Generally, I prefer to remove myself from the situation, rather than have to express any thought or concern that relates to race in even the smallest way. This reaction has me wondering if the same forces are at work in society at large. Despite the advancements of civil rights, most people live fairly racially segregated lives. It seems easy to proclaim tolerance and understanding from afar.
Furthermore, I have never felt this uncomfortable when I’ve spent time with people of other races one-on-one or in more racially mixed settings. In those instances I have always felt that I could raise questions and have an open dialog about race. I think one of the reasons I feel differently now is that I am working in the foster care system with people (black and white) who buy into a “Progressive” agenda in which racial oppression is a primary issue. It feels like many people in this field of work are hypersensitive to issues of race which has a chilling effect on dialog in general. I constantly worry that I will use an incorrect term or ask unintentionally offensive question and be accused of racism. By keeping my concerns to myself, I find myself getting angry and resentful. Not exactly ideal conditions for increased understanding.
So what to do? I’m working on my own sensitivity as well as working up the courage to bring up my concerns at work. When uncomfortable incidents happen, I want to use them as opportunities for dialog, to get my questions answered, rather than just run away to avoid discomfort. I truly believe that an open, candid approach to these issues will be beneficial to all parties involved and will bring us closer together. I hope that we can have an open conversation about race, in which everyone feels safe to speak up and have questions answered.
Here is a somewhat related article from Slate on race and conspicuous consumption: http://www.slate.com/id/2181822/pagenum/2/
I totally confirm the article’s point that buying highly visible status items is not so much a black or Hispanic issue, as it is an issue of poverty. I’m basing this on my experience in the Peace Corps. It was extremely frustrating to watch villagers that could barely put food on the table, rush out to buy the then brand new Motorola Razr. There were more Mercedes in my village in Georgia than there are in my neighborhood in San Francisco.
Once you’ve reached an income level where a Razr or a new pair of Jordans falls comfortably within your price range, it no longer seems like a luxury. However, you can see the same behavior that is described in the Slate article among the upper middle class residents of San Francisco when it comes to the geek status symbol of the moment: the iPhone.
I would like to give a small update on this issue.
I had a very honest and productive conversation with my co-workers about race. I feel 100 times better. I felt that they really listened to my concerns. They were able to share their side of the issue with me and I gained some new insights. I won’t go into the whole thing, but mainly I want to stress that it is possible and in my opinion VITAL to talk openly about race. If we can’t talk about it, we can’t work on it.
We didn’t solve anything, but I don’t dread the topic anymore. I’m not afraid to bring up my concerns or ask questions. I want to encourage everyone to bring their discomfort out into the open so it can be dealt with openly and not held inside to fester. Not only will you feel better, but by healing yourself, you heal the Universe.
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