By Emily

Fear is the single biggest obstacle we face not only in our journey towards spiritual growth, but also in our daily lives. Most negative feelings or actions are rooted in fear. For a deeper discussion of the source of fear, see our article Freedom from Fear.

In this exercise we will be practicing overcoming the irrational fears that hold us back from acheiving our spiritual and worldly goals. Certain fears, like the fear of spiders, may be irrational but do not impact your growth very much (unless you are an Arachnologist).

Identifying Fear

Many times we are not even aware that fear is holding us back. Think of people who say, "I don't dance." Often this kind of aversion to dancing is really rooted in a fear of looking silly in front of other people. I myself have found myself using the "I don't want to/I don't like to" excuse at times when what I really felt was fear.

Next time you are feeling a strong aversion to doing something, especially something you have never done, ask yourself:

• Am I stopping myself from having a new experience because I might be uncomfortable or look silly?
• Am I keeping myself from growing because I am afraid of rejection or failure?

If the answer is yes, you are dealing with fear. Irrational fear is inside of you. Unlike the fear of swimming with sharks, it is totally counterproductive. You can learn to overcome it.

What's the Worst That Can Happen?

Above is the single most important question you can ask yourself. Usually you will find that the answer is not so terrible. Examples:

• If I ask this pretty girl out on a date, what's the worst that can happen? She could say no.
• If I apply for a job that I don't feel qualified for, what's the worst that can happen? I might not get hired.
• If I quit my job to start a small business what's the worst that can happen? I could go into debt and have to get a regular job again.

As you can see, nobody dies in any of these scenarios. The potential good that can come of facing your fears far outweighs the very worst that can happen.

When Laura and I started ConsideringTheUniverse.com we were nervous. We thought, what if people don't like it? What if our friends and family think we're crazy? What if we don't get any visitors to the site? We realized that the very worst that could happen if we put up the site was the nobody would see it and people we know might think we're weird. Not so bad, especially since a considerable number of people we know like us precisely because we are "weird".

Openness

Once you realize that the vast majority of your negative reactions are fear-based, and the vast majority of your fears are irrational, you have almost overcome your fear! Now you just have to do whatever it is you were afraid of. Ask her out! Apply for the job! Build a website about spiritual growth! Once you do the thing you were afraid of, you will see that it was not so bad. Then you will have confidence to overcome more fears until one day you are totally fearless.

When a new opportunity comes up, always err on the side of openness. Take the chance whenever possible. This exercise is not about things working out perfectly, it's about seeing that the worst case scenario is not really so horrible. You will feel much better about yourself if the pretty girl rejects you, than if you are too afraid to ask her out at all.

Jump Start Your Fearlessness

If you can't think of anything that you've been afraid to do, here are a few things that you can try right away.

1. If you're afraid to dance, go dancing with some friends. If you love to dance, go to a club you would never thought of trying. Maybe a goth club, salsa club, or hip-hop club.
2. Join Toastmasters to overcome fears of public speaking.
3. Try a new type of food has intimidated you before. Maybe it's sushi, Morroccan, or the taco truck at a construction site.
4. Go to a political meeting of a party you don't agree with. If you're a Republican, go visit the Green Party. If you're a Libertarian, visit with some Socialists. Just remember you are there to feel comfortable, not pick fights.
5. Share your creativity with someone. Let a friend read a poem you've written or look at a picture you're proud of. The worst that can happen: they don't like it.
6. Leave your cell phone at home while you run an errand!
7. Take the bus and sit in the back.
8. Get lost. Get off the freeway or train at a random stop. Explore!
9. Invite a neighbor over for dinner. If you're feeling especially brave, try to find a neighbor who doesn't speak your language very well.

Overcoming Fear

Once you are fearless in your daily life, you will find that your deepest fears are easier to identify. Jealousy, guilt, feelings of worthlessness, are all related to fear. By overcoming fear of everyday things, you will see that you are powerful enough to take control of your own emotions. Then you'll have a basis for conquering the more difficult fears or issues that are rooted in your psyche.