By Laura

Peace Corps 2005
Letter to my mother

Dear Mom,

Since I can't bear to write about my long & sordid shoe saga-especially lest it jinx my current week of good luck and wearable shoes, I shall instead relate the tale of the piglets in the Vadajchkoria household.

First, a bit of history--all recent information that adds richness to the story. My host mother, Tamila, grew up the oldest of three girls in a small village near Ozurgeti. Her father was a highly educated man who unfortunately died of lung cancer when she was 14. This was quite a tragedy, especially given the rigidly regimented gender roles. Despite this & having no money, Tamila was determined to study in Tbilisi (the capital of Georgia). She wrote a perfect math exam to get into the university but the man administering the test wanted bribe money-so he scored it as a "D". In protest, she demanded a copy of the test & corrections. Seeing that she was going to make a fuss & in order to quiet her, the test givers gave her a choice of foreign cities in which she could study free of charge (w/the understanding she re-take the math test along with physics and chemistry). She got straight A's on all the tests & chose to go to Kharkov in Ukraine because her father had studied there & he had some relatives & friends there. She studied 6 years in Ukraine (getting all A's) and earned a degree in mechanical engineering.

After graduating, she went back to Georgia and worked for a year or two in an aviation factory on airplanes. Her mother was, by this time, living all alone because the younger sisters were off studying. So she moved back home & got a job in the college- (and later met & married Avto-my host dad). She moved into the house where I am now...together with Avto & his parents, Lamara & Kukuri. She (Tamila), being the savvy one, controls the finances. Avto didn't work for a long time & a retired person's pension in something like 20$ a month. She worked continuously at the college (as a math teacher and as the assistant director).

Anyhoo, a while back, Kukuri (Avto's father) had throat cancer, so he had his voice box removed. There was always this negative energy emanating from the kids, Tamila & Lamara towards Kukuri that I couldn't understand. To me, he seemed like a cute old man and he couldn't talk, so I felt bad for his inability to communicate. But, I figured there was something I was missing because I doubted there would be such negative feelings towards him for no reason.

Ok, so Tamila buys all the groceries, pays for wood to heat the house, pays the phone bill and buys anything else the family needs. Avto gives her his paycheck & the parents are supposed to give at least some of their pension towards food (believe the host grandma is big, she eats lots of the food). Well, we have this large pig, which is due to be butchered in December for the holidays. Tamila's mom (still living in the nearby village) also has a pig w/piglets & she'll give us a piglet to replace the pig we're going to butcher. But, Kukuri had decided he wanted to buy a different & older piglet instead, even though he knows we'll get a free piglet from Tamila's mom. He was going around the neighborhood asking to buy a bigger piglet (mind you, he has no money, just the pension that's designated for food). Tamila, his wife Lamara (the large grandma) and Avto all told him they don't want to buy a piglet, it's expensive, they can get a free one & the cost of feeding a bigger piglet now is not cost effective for the family. But he still went to a neighbor and told him he wanted to buy a piglet from him. Tamila heard about this & went to the neighbor & said the family doesn't want a pig-don't sell it to him etc. The neighbor said OK. But, when Kukuri asked about the neighbor about it again, he said "Tamila doesn't want me to sell it to you". I speculate the neighbor was motivated to say that to Kukuri because of passive aggressive gender related insecurity (I don't think women normally control finances in Ozurgeti), but I suppose he could have had a different reason too.

Kukuri came back upset (remember he can't speak) and wrote a note saying, "If you don't let me buy a piglet with my pension money, I'm going on top of the balcony roof (which is another Kukuri story I am about to relate) and jump off and commit suicide. When Tamila and I had come home from work, Lamara said Kukuri had gotten dressed and went off somewhere. Tamila, seeing the note, was sure he had left to commit suicide and got very upset. I gave her the American hair dye I had dad send to me for her bday (another story) to make her feel better, but it didn't really help (you know, as I'm American I tried to soothe her pain with a material good, it didn't work, maybe she was touched by the gesture). At the time I didn't know about the note, I thought she was just upset because he had left to buy a piglet.

Eventually Kukuri returned home, still alive (I know, I know, you were thinking he returned home dead). Tamila wanted Avto to try talking his dad out of his devotion to the unpurchased piglet-or at least lay down the law and refuse to let him buy it. But, as Eventually Kukuri returned home, still alive (I know, I know, you were thinking he returned home dead). Tamila wanted Avto to try talking his dad out of his devotion to the unpurchasedTamila says: "Avto sustia," which means Avto is weak and won't stand up to Kukuri. So the family had a meeting. During the "conversation" Kukuri was still determined to 1) by a piglet or 2) kill himself by jumping off the balcony roof. They all left the meeting upset but too scared to force the matter with Kukuri (personally I would have told him to go ahead and kill himself, see if I care, but I am a bit cold that way). The next day he took several months of his and his wife's pension money and to show his power, brought home not one, but two piglets.

So the balcony roof that he was going to jump off? Well it turns out, it used to look like a normal roof (tented). But one day Kukuri decided hie wanted the roof to be flat. He told the family, but they had no money for such a whim and there was nothing wrong with the previous roof. So everyone ignored him. Mistake. When Avto and Tamila had to go to Tbilisi for a serious medical procedure, So the balcony roof that he was going to jump off? Well it turns out, it used to look like a normal roof (tented). But one day Kukuri decided hie wanted the roof to be flat. He told the family, but they had no money for such a whim and there was nothing wrong with the previous roof. So everyone ignored him. Mistake. When Avto and Tamila had to go to Tbilisi for a medical operation. Kukuri decided to change the roof himself. We now have a flat roof, but he did such a bad job it leaks and could possibly cave in at any time. It's been left in the unstable position for the past many years because of the cost to fix the problem.

Dude, (yes, I call my mother dude) I find this history very interesting. Imagine having to move in with your crazy husband's parents, being the only one to work, doing all the housework, cooking, cleaning and taking care for the kids on top of dealing with crazy in laws who spend your $ which you need for food....!

Things aren't nearly as bad now though, Avto's got a job at the bread factory (hey, the food issue is mostly fixed!) and old Kukuri has been given some sort of karmic punishment, leaving him unable to speak and generally harmless (or maybe not). I've been quite entertained, disturbed, amused and empathetic towards the whole ordeal. But this is probably extra interesting to me because I am fairly bored.

I'm definite that I haven't done the tale justice in this brief letter,it's a much better told in Georgian. Rest assured I am in good hands here Mom. The mechanical engineer has somewhat improved the structural integrity of the balcony roof and I rarely go on the balcony anyway. I also apologize for my English, it's degradation is in inverse proportion to the improvement of my Georgian, which is both a blessing and a curse.

Love,
Laura